The River's Badge

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Retail ~ Maybe It's Just Me




When I venture out into the real world, I encounter things that wouldn't ever annoy me, if I just stayed inside the confines of my comfortable home.

  • My mailbox is a repository for junk.  I don't think I should be forced to maintain a mailbox just to give postal workers something to do.

  • "There you go", uttered by a sales clerk, does not equal "thank you". 

  • Speaking of sales clerks, I was trying to help a girl figure out where the thing was that I wanted; there behind her on the display. I said, "It's over to your right." She replied, "I don't know my left from my right, so that doesn't help me." Really? What hand do you write with?

  • When I was a kid, helping out at the general store, a guy said to me, "Give me a couple of those cups there on the shelf. I said, "How many do you want?" He replied, "A couple is two." I never forgot that, because I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what "a couple" was. 

  • The cashier at Target asked me if I really wanted "a bag for that". You know what? Don't put yourself out. I know that Target is a struggling enterprise in the retail sales market. Plus, "a bag for that" would require you to rip a plastic bag off the roll and stuff things into it. I don't want to complicate your life.


  • Liquor store clerks dispense with the bullshit. They figure all of us are alcoholics anyway; and we're just in there to get our latest fix. Little do they know that I'm writing my future best-selling novel fueled by the twelve-pack of Miller LIte they just rung up on the 'til.  Plus, they ask me if I want them to stuff it in a bag. 

It could well be that I just don't like dealing with people (except for liquor store clerks). Maybe it's me. If I could make all my purchases online, and have them all delivered instantaneously, I wouldn't have to mess with people. It's not that I don't like people (hypothetically). I just like people who don't piss me off.







No comments: