The River's Badge

Monday, June 13, 2011

CMT Video Awards?


Okay, I heard ("read") that the CMT Video Awards were broadcast this past week. Ho-hum?

Yes, as far as I know, CMT is a video channel. So, I'm certainly not going to hold it against them that they hold awards to self-promote. Where would this great land of ours be without self-promotion?

I'm so on the periphery of this phenomenon that I only learn about it from reading Entertainment Weekly, the arbiter of all things that really need to be known.

That said, EW really hooks you. They rave about something, or some video, or some incident that occurred that you really, if you want to remain relevant in this world, really need to see, or else you're just useless.

So, yes, I did search out some videos, based upon EW's recommendations.

The first thing that caught my attention was, Shania and that girl, Taylor, doing a take-off of Thelma and Louise. Well, I'm always up for a good parody, so I was eager to find a clip of this one.



Not completely impressed, I have to say, but that's mainly due to the fact that they had some "odd" (in the kindest sense of the word) stand-in for Brad Pitt, and that scruffy Kid Rock was also in the scene. Nice touch on Kenny Rogers standing beside the road, but overall, not really up to par. Sorry.

And yea, I heard that Shania fell down, but really? Give the woman a break. Who wouldn't fall down in that circumstance? I know I would.



They also mentioned Sugarland having the best performance of the night. So, I searched out and found a video of that one, but frankly, when I saw some girls hoist themselves up upon the stage to start waving a white flag with some indiscernible writing on it, I clicked off. Ack! Political correctness on a so-called country music broadcast? Thanks, but no. I guess I'll never know if the performance was good or not good. Stop preaching to me! I'm really not in the mood, and if I want to know what the politically correct line of the moment is, I'll switch on cable news.

I also heard that some kid called Justin Bieber was there, for some ungodly reason. I don't know. I'm completely perplexed.

I really, really would like to watch these awards (no doubt found on Hulu, where I watch all my favorite shows), but my self-respect tells me, no. Don't do it.

Let me just soothe myself in the misguided notion that country music is still country music. No, I'm not stuck in the nineties (well, maybe I am, but I do know what's hot; what's happening now, to a very miniscule degree).

Let me ask, where the hell was Alan Jackson? Where was George Strait? I think those guys are still charting, or am I completely off the mark?

Fine, you guys. If you want to co-opt my music, have at it. But could you call it something else? I would like to remember country music when it was country music, without having to spew out the words like I had a mouthful of cotton constricting my airway.

Call it sort-of-country-if-you-really-squint-hard-and-imagine-what-it-would-sound-like-if-it-was-country-music. I'm fine with that.

Wynonna, why don't you show those buffoons (even Kid Rock got it eventually), what country music is:


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