The River's Badge

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Got This Songwriting Thing All Wrong


Allow me to paraphrase from a post on a songwriter's board:

"I've been studying how to write a hit song for a couple of years now, and I think I'm finally getting the formula down. Just moved to Nashville! I'm on my way! Just a matter of time!"

Hit Song Recipe

1/2 cup of attitude
1 heaping tablespoon of pickup truck
2 cups of female empowerment, stirred briskly into mix
a generous dash of rock guitar riffs
1 foot-long list, divided into four portions
1/4 cup of "my daddy" (found in the canned foods aisle)
1 can of cold beer

NOTE:

This recipe makes a great last-minute supper, because the ingredients are ones that all hit songwriters should already have on hand.

It doesn't require any hard-to-find items, such as heart, love, or feelings.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Grab a co-writer; two, if available, to help with preparation. Preheat oven to 500 degrees.

Pour all ingredients into a large bowl, and, using an electric mixer (set on high), beat briskly until mixture forms a pale yellow mush. Quickly pour into a greased 9 x 13 inch baking pan, and bake for five minutes at 500 degrees.**

**Or 2 1/2 minutes if you prefer your song to be half-baked. Most hit songwriters choose to use this method.

It is not necessary to allow hit song to cool after removing from oven. It can be served immediately to program directors. They will be so delighted with this dish that they will want to share it with their listeners as often as possible.

Voila!

You're welcome! Bon appetit!

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